What to Do When the Season Feels Hard
The holiday season is often portrayed as joyful, warm, and full of connection. For many people, it does not feel that way. If you are experiencing grief, loneliness, or any type of loss, the holidays can amplify what is already painful. You may be grieving someone who has passed away, feeling estranged from family, coping with a relationship that has changed, or simply noticing a deep sense of loneliness when the world around you seems cheerful.
If this season feels heavy, there is nothing wrong with you. You are not failing at the holidays. You are moving through something real and human, and your experience deserves care and compassion.
Why the Holidays Can Intensify Grief and Loneliness
Grief often becomes sharper during the holidays because this time of year is tied to memory, routine, and expectation. When someone is missing or when relationships shift, those emotional absences feel more visible.
Common experiences include:
- Missing traditions you used to share
- Feeling out of place in gatherings
- Sensing a pressure to appear happy
- Seeing reminders of loved ones everywhere
- Feeling disconnected from others who do not share your pain
Loneliness can also show up even when you are surrounded by people. It often comes from not feeling understood, supported, or emotionally safe.
Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel
You do not have to pretend everything is fine. Giving yourself permission to experience your emotions can bring relief.
Make space for your grief
Let yourself cry, reflect, journal, or sit with your feelings without rushing to fix them. Grief changes with time, and this moment is part of your healing process.
Avoid forcing holiday cheer
You do not need to match the mood of others. Honoring your emotional reality is healthier than performing joy you do not feel.
Notice what your body needs
Grief is not only emotional. It can cause fatigue, tension, and difficulty concentrating. Listen to your limits.
Adjust Traditions to Fit Your Current Needs
You are allowed to change how you show up during the holidays.
Keep what brings comfort.
If there are traditions that warm your heart or connect you to memories, keep them. Even small rituals can create a sense of grounding.
Release what feels painful
If certain events or routines feel overwhelming, you can skip them. You do not have to attend every gathering.
Create new traditions
Consider lighting a candle, writing a letter to a loved one, taking a quiet walk, cooking a meaningful recipe, or choosing another activity that honors your feelings.
Seek Support Where You Can Find It
You do not have to move through grief alone.
Reach out to someone safe
A single supportive conversation can ease a heavy emotional load. Choose people who listen without trying to fix or minimize your experience.
Let others know what you need
Whether you need space, companionship, or help with practical tasks, communicating your needs can prevent misunderstanding.
Consider joining a grief or support group
Shared experiences can be powerful. Hearing others’ stories may help you feel less isolated.
Therapy can offer you steady support
A therapist can help you navigate complex emotions, process your grief, and build coping strategies that support your well being throughout the season.
Practical Ways to Care for Yourself
Simple acts of care can help steady you during the hardest days.
- Keep your schedule lighter than usual
- Eat regularly, hydrate, and rest when you can
- Limit exposure to stressful environments
- Spend time in nature or quiet spaces
- Practice gentle grounding skills like deep breathing
- Choose one small thing each day that nurtures you
These practices do not erase grief, but they create space for you to move through it with more support and less overwhelm.
You Are Not Alone in This Season
If this holiday season feels heavy, know that your pain is valid. You deserve understanding, care, and support. Grief may feel isolating, but connection is still possible. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Nurturing Therapy Services is here to support you through this time with compassion and steady guidance. If you are struggling with grief, loneliness, or loss, therapy can offer a safe place to process your story and move toward healing at your own pace.
📍 Nurturing Therapy Services offers therapy for teens, young adults, and adults in Ankeny, Iowa and online statewide